Unforgettable November 2009

This month has been a month in my personal walk with God that I will never forget. It has been one of the hardest months of my life, yet it has been one of the most freeing and rewarding months of my life. God began to show me at the end of October that there were several issues that I had deep within my heart that I had to feel, to express, to deal with, and to let go of. Through every single step and in every moment God was with me in this journey. God spoke to my heart and whispered that He wanted everything in November; HE wanted to BE everything to me this November, and He wanted all of Sarah this month. I surrendered not fully knowing what I was about to walk into but knowing that deep healing from my past needed to take place that had me in bondage for many years, and God was the only One who understood it all. He asked me to let go of everything, and I mean everything for 30 days... ANY involvement with the youth at Lyndhurst Baptist Church, girl's Bible study, caffeine, make up, home cell group, relationships, communication, music, other books.

God taught me that He IS more than enough for me; He IS big enough to heal me. He IS "God" enough!! He showed me what true unconditional love is and what it means to trust. He held my heart very gently as I walked a journey from the very beginning of my life to today looking at issues, circumstances and memories that had become my identity and had affected my relationship with God and how I relate to others. God peeled back layers of hurt, anger, doubt, worry, and fear that I had built up around my heart for many years in an effort to protect anyone from getting too close to me and that I had used as response mechanisms in dealing with my past. I experienced what people mean when they say "minute by minute reliance on God." God was my strength and got me through literally each minute on those very difficult days when everything that I had come to rely on and run to had been taken out from under me. God showed me that He uses everything we go through to bring Him glory and to bring others to himself. I know this will be a continued process for me as I take steps each day toward healing, restoration, freedom, and liberty, but the end of November marked a new beginning for Sarah Maddox because I have found who I am in Christ; I have found freedom in being who He created me to be, and I have learned that He (without anyone or anything else) IS more than enough for me!

Psalm 18:20-24 (The Message)
"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."

John 8:36
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

"Definition"

Watching quietly in the background;
Listening silently in the shadow.
Waiting to see it lived;
Longing to see it defined.
I did not have;
But I desperately need to see.

Daddy.
Pa.
Man.
Husband.
Baba.
Father.
You are defining these titles for me.

One can see in your little girl’s eyes, you make her world spin. She fully trusts as she
jumps into your arms…
…she feels the definition of “Daddy.”
Your eldest son still believes you aren’t afraid of anything. He wants to be just like you…
… he sees the definition of “Father.”
You both were arguing as you stepped out of the car, but you gently squeeze her hand as
you walked into the church…
… she experiences the definition of “Husband.”

I wonder what it’s like to have a father.
How different it would be if mommy weren’t alone.
I wonder what it feels like to say “Daddy.”

Since I don’t know, I’m watching you. Yes, You. I am
Watching quietly in the background;
Listening silently in the shadow.
Waiting to see it lived;
Longing to see it defined.
I did not have;
But I desperately need to see.

You aren’t only daddy to the ones you look like.
You aren’t only father to the ones you conceived.

You are building a definition of “Father.”
You are shaping a definition of “Daddy.”
You are modeling a definition of “Husband.”

…What are you defining for Me?

My chains are gone; I've been set free!

I feel God is telling me to open up about some of the personal struggles that I have been going through for the past several months. While being in South Africa I have come face to face with insecurities, temptation, and battles like I never did in the States, but I have also experienced God's grace, love, faithfulness, and healing like never before in my life. He has healed me from bondage that I has been strangling me since I was very young. This has not been an overnight revelation, but four months ago was the turning point. Was I going to allow God to search me (every part of me), deal with issues, and cleanse my heart and life, or was I going to continue running and denying that there was an issue I had to face, ignoring that it was affecting my relationship with my Heavenly Father? Fearfully trusting (if that is possible), I surrendered to God's spiritual operating table.

Since I was in 8th grade I have struggled with my self image; at times it was more extreme than others and it manifested itself in various forms throughout the years. This issue stemmed from many things that I faced when I was younger. However, God made the severity of the issue very clear to me a few months ago and showed me how much this was hurting my relationship with Him. At times this issue manifested itself in the way I was eating (not eating some months or emotionally over eating), at other times it was the way I dressed hiding myself because I did not believe I was good enough or that people would judge me, other times I would pass up opportunities because a voice inside of me was telling me I was not worthy or pretty enough. It not only affected me psychologically and emotionally, but it also affected my relationships with other people. I would keep my distance emotionally, not allowing anyone close for fear they wouldn't love me and that they would hurt me. These are just a few of the areas of my life that this issue had a hold over.

In April, I began seeing an IMB Missionary here in Johannesburg, South Africa who is a counselor. These past few months have been very difficult at times, but God has been SO faithful to me. He has healed me and restored me. He has shown me that I have value and worth to Him and that He loves my unconditionally no matter what. He will never reject me or hurt me; He LOVES me! I have value because of God's love for me. This has been an issue in my life for many years, and I know the process of healing will still take time, surrendering every day, each meal, every moment, every thought, but God is powerful! He is my healer; when we surrender it all to HIM, our hurts, struggles, and fears, He takes it and does a mighty work. When I couldn't; He was able! When I felt rejected; He responded! When I hated myself; He loved me! When I stopped; He began!

Isaiah 49:16 "I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."
Zephaniah 3:17b "I will take great delight in you. I will quiet you with my love. I will rejoice over you with singing."

My journey to the Homelands this weekend...

I went to Pietermaritzberg, South Africa for the weekend with Aunt Joyce, BoyBoy and Precious to visit their family in the rural areas. It's hard to imagine life that side without experiencing it, but it's like Tranquility....let me try to put it into words. In Rural Africa, one might say life is in slow motion; however, I've come to the conclusion that everyone else sprints through life and forgets to take time to soak in the "small" things. We wake up automatically in "Go Mode" - get the kids fed and to the bus, us to work on time; next, we check our messages for the day, o, and book our nail appointment for Saturday afternoon, make some coffee to get through the morning meeting on stock control; during our lunch "break" we take the car to the shop for an oil change while we run into WalMart to get a few things; we grab a Starbucks Mocha Frappachino before heading back to work; we get "off" at 5pm; we rush the kids to football and cheerleading, then the drive through at McDonald's is the next stop before heading home; hopefully while the kids bath and do their homework we can stay awake for our favorite TV show and maybe the news to find out what is actually happening in the world before falling asleep on the couch only to repeat this again and again and again.....sooner or later you wonder where did life go?

See, in the Homelands it's like you get to breathe in God's blessings each moment...you enjoy bathing even though it may take an hour to wash your hair with a cup and a bucket, one appreciates looking at the beauty outside while walking to the store to buy a loaf of bread or a role of toilet paper, you find such joy in seeing a child chase a cow in the backyard and spending time with people you love doing the simplest things like brushing your teeth beneath the stars...

God wants us to appreciate the beauty He created. How do we get to know our Creator if we never take time to even ponder what He has made? (Are we too focused on what WE can make in this life... financially, with our families, careers, churches, our social life.... ) SLOW DOWN and LET GOD!! Take time to fall in love with His creation and make time to spend with Him each day. Every relationship takes effort and energy to build; one has a desire to spend time with that person each day, and an overwhelming and unexplainable love for them. Are you in a relationship with Jesus Christ or are you in a relationship with yourself, your job, your life, your stuff? Find YOUR "Pietermaritzberg" YOUR Homeland where God wants to take you this week and show you His beauty, His rest, His joy, His peace, HIS TRANQUILITY!

August 12 - 22 or 23 or 24 or 25, 2009

My mom and grandmother came to visit SOUTH AFRICA and me :) We had a great time seeing animals at the Pilannesburg Game Park (well....i endured the animals), visiting the people I have fallen in love with , attending Wednesday Night Home Cell and Friday night youth meetings, and relaxing together for a few days. Relaxing means eating alot of food that I hadn't had in over a year like homemade biscuits and gravy, tacos, meatloaf, spinach dip....yum!! We saw a play called Umoja that traces the history of music in South Africa, enjoyed an AUTHENTIC African-American dinner with my South African family one night at my apartment. We visited Alexandra (the township closest to the church where I serve) and spent some time at the orphanage one afternoon. It was such a blessing for them to come and see the faces that I talk about and experience some of my life here in Johannesburg. However, they were very ready to leave by the fourth day of driving to the airport each night trying to get a seat on their plane (they were given buddy passes by a friend...what a blessing!!). Thank you to everyone for your prayers while they were on this journey. Thank you to the individuals and churches who contributed medical supplies for the homeless shelter ministry here in downtown Johannesburg and for the encouraging cards and goodies I continue to receive. My mother and grandmother were such a blessing to me during those 2 weeks! It helps tremendously knowing that my family supports me, loves me and was even willing to come on a 17 hour plane ride to Africa to see what God is doing in my life. I am very grateful! I love you mom and nanny!

What if he walked into your restaurant?

i'm 16 years old, and ive been on the streets for 6 months. My mom and i got into a fight last December; so I left. She wouldn't pay my school fees...well, she can't. She uses all of her money on alcohol! I'm not from Joburg; I live a couple of hours away….well... i use to. i heard there was money and jobs in Jo'burg, but it hasn't turned out how i thought it would be. i'm all alone; my older brother knows where i am, but i don’t have any contact with my mom. See, i go to different shelters or churches to get food during the days and at nights i sleep in the park or wherever i can find a place. There are these two restaurant owners who are nice to me and a couple of the others; they always give us food if we go in and tell them we are hungry. This is my reality as i wake up each morning to people walking by me on their way to work, each afternoon as my stomach begins to ache from hunger, and each night as i look for a place in the park to sleep ….i'm not just a body under a blanket by the bridge...my name is Lawrence.

I have had the opportunity several Wednesday nights to take part in a homeless ministry in downtown Johannesburg. We met Lawrence during our last stop of handing out soup and bread last night. He looked so young and scared; hopeless. He needs HIS love. ....and Lawrence is only ONE....there are sooo many more like him.


When you do it for one of the least of these; you have done it unto Me (Matthew 25:45). Our world would be a different place if Christians began putting action to the faith they claim to have. Don't we have Jesus??? ...why is it people think it is strange when a Christian wants to be out there or on that side of the ocean or on this side of the tracks no matter what the cost... Obedience shouldn't be the exception if we are Christians; it SHOULD be the norm. Wouldn't you rather live with others perplexed by your devotion, than die and have your Savior questioning it? Let's live a radically obedient, irresistibly contagious, and fervently devoted life so that the Lawrences in our world become a priceless soul, someones child (HIS child) that needs to hear about His love and not just a body under a blanket by the bridge!!

Kids Day Camp at LBC

This past week Lyndhurst Baptist Church hosted a Day Camp for children in the community. We had about 50 children come each day; only a few of the children attend the church regularly so this was a great opportunity for outreach into the community. The youth came during their holiday break to lead classes, set up games, help with the crafts, and serve 50 children and 30 workers snacks and lunch. It such was a blessing to see our youth take ownership of this and to use their gifts to love on these children. The theme for the camp was "The Hand of God." The children learned about a different Bible character each day and the attribute of God that was displayed through that character's life. Please continue to be in prayer for the youth as God molds and stretches them into His image.

A Year of BLeSsINgS

A dozen yellow roses, a new Bible Cover, adorable Nikes, alot of baked goodies, 13 boxes of pizza Wednesday night, Mexican dinner Thursday night, a traditional African dinner Saturday night, my very own Strawberry Cheesecake!! ...I am soo amazed, and not because of all this stuff that I was blessed with during this week of celebrating my 23rd birthday, but because of the love I felt and the time I got to spend with the people who are so very special to me!! Thank you for your love each and every day; I always feel at home when I am with you and you have blessed me this past year in more ways than you will ever know or can even imagine. You have embodied 1 Corinthians 13 :7 " (Love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Thank you for walking with me through everything, supporting me and giving me your unconditional love!

I love you ALL!

Confederation Cup 2009

USA v Italy June 15, 2009

Tshepi, my brother and I were able to attend the USA v. Italy Confederations Cup game! It was quite memorable. Besides the two random guys sitting in front of us waving the American flag, we felt like the only US supporters in the whole stadium. We didn't let that discourage us; we made tshirts and went out in full support! It was very exciting. The US lost this game, but they went on to place 2nd among all the teams in the Confederations Cup....now all eyes are on South Africa as they are also hosting the World Cup in 2010! Saying soccer is big here is definitely an understatement; it's a way of life, and it definitely gets in your blood. Let's go South Africa! Let's go USA!! (...hopefully they won't play each other in 2010)

Kenya: Time Out

For a week at the beginning of June my brother (who had just arrived in South Africa) and I were given the opportunity to go to Nairobi, Kenya. We, along with two others, were responsible for working with the missionary kids (mks) during their annual East African Sectional Meeting at Brackenhurst Conference Center. Brackenhurst is beautiful! We were responsible for the 2 to 5 year olds each day from 8am to 4pm while their parents were attending the various meetings. We played games, did crafts, had Bible stories, enjoyed the playground, and became experts at some Veggie Tales (thank God for movie time). The children were wonderful and such a blessing throughout the week even though some points were challenging. During the evenings and nights I was able to have some precious God and I time; I sat in the coffee shop at Brackenhurst and was able to listen and breathe... Sometimes life in Johannesburg can get very trying emotionally and spiritually and you don't really realize it until you intentionally remove yourself from the situations, make yourself breathe, and just rest in God. That's what this week was for me; even though our "job" was to minister to the missionary children in East Africa; God also ministered to me and gave me a refreshing drink of His peace, love, and His sustaining presence....at the end of the week though I was ready to get back home to Johannesburg.

Bound or Free????

May 22, 2009 10 17am: I enter a room with about 100 others and take a seat for one for the usual Friday worship meetings. Everyone stands and one person from the group begins singing praises to our God; the whole place fills with voices, worship, singing, and praising in a way I have not experienced in a very very long time...if ever! There was freedom in their worship; there was power in that room because of the God they were praising. I begin to look around me (not understanding the language in which they were singing yet still experiencing the powerful moments of praising our God). The passion and love for Christ in this place is overwhelming; they have a reason to sing!!!!!!! The service proceeds with testimonies from over 20 people unashamedly sharing their own personal stories of how God saved them. They are not focusing so much on the past and WHAT they were doing, but concentrating on WHY HE saved them- to tell others- and WHERE they were going. I felt so welcome and at home; no fake "How are you?" or "Glad to see you at worship today", but there was a genuine love that they had for each other ...kind of like an unspoken understanding. I realized it was almost 1pm and the service was nearing it's end. I did not want to leave, but it was time; I couldn't stay and experience this type of worship tomorrow or fellowship with these believers during lunch. It was time for us to leave....see, we were in prison.

What I didn't tell you was that we walked through black revolving steel doors to get to the room which is about the size of a gymnasium. It is cold from the winter that is approaching; the walls are made of steel, and the seating is not your typical nice padded church chairs but beat up wooden benches. The audience is made up of over 100 15 to 23 year old males; however, they are not dressed in the latest Holister top, American Eagle jeans or Fubu hoodies. They all sport the same uniform, a jean jumpsuit and maroon jacket. Yes, you and I would call this a prison; they call it the institution, but I have been thinking.... what would God call this place? Would God call this home??????? There was more spiritual freedom in that place on a Friday morning than most of our churches see on any Sunday; more forgiveness being offered, love being expressed, pain being remembered, gratitude being shown. Why do I have to go to prison to see the most freedom I have ever witnessed before in worship???

....This group of young convicts who had just finished a 16 week course on Jesus and Christianity in prison IS free although you and I may not see it that way.

......would GOD be more likely to call a gated prison with a few growing believers His Home or a steepled church packed with the religiously stagnant ? ...let's wake up church; we have a reason to sing IF you are His child!!!!!

Is it just a batch of cookies?

ahhhh... (that's us yawning). friday night we had a girl's sleepover at my apartment. what happens when you get 13 girls in a confined space with endless pizza, ice cream, music, and movies? memories happen. this weekend we had a great time of just chilling, hanging and having fun. i think alot of times as Christians we overlook the "little" ways that we can show others Christ's love...bake that person some cookies (when was the last time they tasted Christ's love?), open your home up to those kids for the night (you never know what is going on behind the doors of their homes), do that thing that God has been calling YOU to do!!!

I recently read a book called Under the Overpass about a college student who answered God's call to leave his normal American life to live on the streets of America for several months trusting God to meet his every need; during those months he grew in his faith in amazing ways. This quote from that book really spoke to my heart; the author says, "Suddenly I was shocked to realize that I had just driven 20 minutes past the world that needed me to be the Christian I say I am to hear a sermon called, 'Be the Christian you say you are'."

....when are we going to stop just saying we are Christians and actually begin doing what Christ did? - reaching the WORLD with HIS love through OUR actions ...are we too busy to live like Jesus did? what is stopping you from changing the world for Him? ....it begins with that one batch of cookies.

---Someone forwarded me this recently; thank you to whoever it was. God equips those He calls!

Thank God for my shoes.

People don't know how far you've come, they don't know what lies ahead of you, and neither do they know how dissatisfied you get with yourself from time to time. People don't know the troubles that you've had or the price you had to pay to get to where you are. Why should you wish you were in anybody's shoes when you hardly know how they fit? When you've worn your shoes for a while, they take the shape of your feet and align to the way you walk. If you were to wear my shoes, you will not be comfortable in them. So I stopped wishing that I am in someone else shoes because they might not fit; rather I thank God for my shoes, because they fit! I am unique; God is not in the cloning business He makes originals.

Live it all for Him in the shoes He has given you!!!!!!!!

Annual IMB Mission Team Meeting

I must confess. I was not looking forward to being in a week of meetings to hear about the new changes in the International Mission Board (although this was not the whole point of the meeting). However, God changed my bad attitude, and worked in my heart INSPITE of me. Throughout the week, we had times of worship in the mornings and the evenings, and we were able to see and hear reports from around the region about what God was doing in the lives of other missionaries and the people that they serve. The conference center where the meeting was held was about 10 minutes from my apartment, and Johannesburg was decended upon by over 300 other IMB missionaries from around CESA who attended this conference. So, needless to say, the Guest House where I work was, and still currently is, very busy from the traffic coming in and out of Joburg for the meeting. This conference may have been just another annual meeting for many other people, but for me it was very special. God did some amazing things in my heart, and He is currently dealing with me on some issues in my life. I feel I will only know the full the significance of this past week in the near future as He continues to direct me and I process how He is guiding me. I am sorry for being so vague, but I am not exactly sure what God is calling me to do, but I can hear Him leading my heart in the direction of change in some areas and in a specific direction for my future. Please be in prayer for me this week as I process some of the things that were spoken about during the worship sessions and while being in that environment with other people who share the same heart and passion as I. This time was very refreshing and has given me a new outlook towards those I am serving alongside. God also brought more healing to my heart and life from an area in my past; step by step God is molding me, breaking me, healing me, growing me, guiding me. I am yours! I want to be a light for you; take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory! God, you are my Healer, my Redeemer, my Father, my LIFE!

(This is a picture of my team)

Sugar cane fields and a Pet zebra

Earlier this month I, along with two other journeymen, was able to go away for the weekend and visit a missionary family, the Warrens, who work in SWAZILAND. It is a beautful country with many gorgeous mountains and hills; the Warrens minister among the people who live and work on Sugar Cane fields. On Friday when we arrived, we visited the Swazi Candle factory (of course I did a bit of shopping here for some very beautiful hand crafted candles), and Friday night we spent time with the Warren family watching movies and playing Wii (I won Bowling!). On Saturday, we had lunch with Hobbs, the pet zebra at a local country club; we then took time to find our grade school roots and played on the swing set and giant slide. Saturday night the guys grilled out, and we had steak! It was yummy! Sunday morning we were able to attend village church where the Warrens minister; the church is in a woman's living room, and they squeezed about 40 people in there. Please pray for the Warren family and their ministry and the people of Swaziland.

The Freaks, the troubled, the weirdo....What does God see?

Yes, before you ask; this is me. This was Freak Night at youth; if you can't tell I dressed up as a Gothic. We dressed up as anyone or anything that our society labels as a "freak" "weird" "outcast" ... The youth really got into it; some of them dressed up as homeless people, prostitutes, nerds, punks, businessmen; it was quite interesting to say the least! We even had a Freak Fashion Show and awarded the "Best Dressed Freak." That Friday night at youth we talked about seeing everyone through God's eyes. Why do we judge? What does it mean to be "not normal"? There is a story behind the faces, the clothes, the tattoos, the business suits.... but many times we walk right by them ignoring them or even commenting on their appearance writing them off as "weird" never even thinking about praying for that soul who may be hurting and searching for an eternal hope to fill the void they have inside....Next time you go to take a second glance at that person who doesn't fit into YOUR idea of normal why not take that opportunity to pray for them and maybe even take a moment out of your busy day to offer a smile or speak an encouraging word....you never know how your actions could change eternity!

Inside the gates, behind the bars, and on the streets

I would like to take you on a journey during one of my recent weeks of working with the youth at Lyndhurst Baptist Church; God’s faithfulness can be seen even when I encounter circumstances that are WAY bigger than me. Some of you may recall my asking prayer for a group of guys that I referred to as GPG (God’s Potential Gang) who are heading down a dangerous road. Last month three of them were arrested for assault; they got into a fight with another guy in the neighborhood. After spending a night in jail, they were released and told to appear in court in a week; that night after they were released Tshepi and I went to talk with each of the guys. We didn’t really know if they were listening or not since they were very tired from standing the night before crammed in a jail cell and were still processing everything that had happened. After talking to them and listening to the emotions they were experiencing (or lack thereof), we went to drop the guys off at home since it was getting late. (Let me stop here and explain something. In Johannesburg, it is very difficult to get inside people’s homes because of the physical gates everyone puts up due to the high crime in the area and also the emotional guard people build around themselves. Hence, we never actually know what is going on in the home lives of the youth except for what they are willing to share. We (Tshepi and I) are very close to the youth, but we had yet to be invited into homes by the parents themselves; this is a very difficult obstacle to overcome. We had been praying for an opportunity to begin building relationships with two of the mothers of the guys in GPG specifically by name…we just didn’t know it was going to take a court date for this to happen).

We pulled up to the gate to drop off one of the guys, and the mother came outside of the house, outside of the gate and asked Tshepi and I if she could see us the next night to talk!! Wow, ok God…. This mother of two with a nice house, a car, and a job wants to talk to two twenty something year old girls? We prayed the whole next day that God would use us however He wanted that night. It was one of the most humbling experiences that I have ever had. We walked behind the gates into a very nice two story home, drank tea, and listened to this mother pour her heart out for the next three hours! She told us how she got in her car to take her life the week before because she felt there was no hope. She wants to see them grow up, get married and have families, but with them continuing down this path she doesn’t believe it will happen. She cried and cried while her two sons, Tshepi and I listened to her pour her heart out in the middle of the living room. We didn’t have magic answers to make all the problems go away or a way to erase another court case that had been opened against her sons and the guys that we love very much, but we listened. She is not a believer; therefore, she does not understand the peace in the midst of the storm that we can have because of Him. At the end of the night, we prayed with her; she was very grateful. Tshepi and I got into the car amazed at how God was using a court case to answer our prayers to get into this home….not how we had exactly pictured it.

God was not finished wowing us! We arrived at court at 8 30am and sat with the guys and their mothers until 4pm; we were literally the last ones to leave the court walking out with the social worker and the guards who were locking up, never appearing before the judge. However this time was not wasted! We sat in one hallway until noon and were then moved to another area which was right by the holding cells where they take youth who have been convicted and were going to prison. We watched as kids walked by about to be taken to prison to face the consequences of their actions. We saw 13 year old girls chained together who we learned had been convicted for selling their bodies; we learned of three 15 year olds who were arrested for selling marijuana; other crimes ranged from assault to housebreak ins to fraud. Our guys sat there for four hours watching young people who looked just like them being taken in because of their actions. I believe this was more of a wakeup call for them than any length of community service could have been. We never went into court because no one had ever carried the case to the judge to be reviewed; so as the judge was walking out to leave for the day he dropped the case after finally reading it (the father of the guy who they were fighting had beaten many of them across the face and back with his belt in the midst of the fight between these youth). As we were walking out of court, Tshepi and I were able to speak with the head of the youth Social Services Department; she was familiar with our faces since we had been sitting there all day. We introduced ourselves and tried to share our hearts with her; she wants to meet with us and take us around the jail, show us the youth rehabilitation programs, and discuss issues that they face each day. This opportunity would have never been available if we were not in court that day… God can and does use “bad” circumstances for His good. We are so excited to see how God opened this door for us; please pray for Tshepi and me as we meet with her next week to learn some of the stories of the young faces behind the bars; our prayer is that God will use us in whatever way He wants. As we were leaving the court house with the guys, one of their mothers said, “This isn’t going to be the end for us, right? We want this to be the beginning of a relationship with both of you girls.” WOW! They are reaching out; we have open invitations into each of their homes; we know it was GOD who used this situation to open the physical gates of homes and the emotional guards of hurting families who are crying out for an eternal hope. Please pray for Tshepi and me as we begin to minister to these mothers. Three days later two of the guys came to me and Tshepi separately expressing their realization that if they stayed with this group they would continue to make wrong choices and end up paying a high price for their actions. We prayed with each of them and encouraged them to stand up and to help each other back away from this lifestyle; please pray for these two guys who are the two who became Christians at camp the year before last and who stood up at this past camp and confessed vandalizing their neighborhood in front of the whole camp and asked for forgiveness. These two are battling and are trying each day to live a life that will include an abundant future; pray that they find boldness and strength in God, their Heavenly Father.

My Savior He can move the Mountains!

Wow, I do not know how to tell you how God has worked in my heart in the past month and a half. He has renewed a passion in me for His purposes, given me world vision beyond what I could have ever imagined, and ignited a fire in me that I can barely contain. I can promise you this has nothing to do with my circumstances; this has been one of the most difficult months for me since I have been in Johannesburg, but this has been the best month by far because God has been faithful to walk with me every step of the way and has shown me His heart like I have never seen. I gave up and gave it all to Him. When I did this, He made himself so evident to me. It is not about me; it is all about Him! When Sarah stopped, He moved! He has freed me in areas of my life that I have been holding on to for many years; He is showing me His heart for the unwanted and outcasts of our societies, and He has revolutionized the way I act, love, and seek Him each day. I no longer can go a day or a week without spending quality time with Him; He is what I must have each day! Just like eating and sleeping; He fuels me giving me spiritual energy, passion, drive, and love like I have never had. There are so many needs in this city and only so much time in each day; it can be a struggle not to get in the car and run every time there is a need or an activity or a crisis. I am learning to guard time for myself and my relationship with God each day, and through this I have seen how He extends the hours in each day and opens doors for ministry that I in my own strength could have never opened or ever imagined.

As I write this letter, my heart is hurting for the youth in Johannesburg who are falling to temptation and experiencing the consequences of their actions; and I am feeling so inadequate and insignificant to do the tasks that God has entrusted to me... But my heart is also overflowing with the blessing of amazing friends and family that God has blessed me with here. I am excited about the opportunities God is giving me in this New Year, and my heart is exploding with love for the people who have captured my heart! I remember learning this familiar phrase in Sunday school; “God is good; all the time; All the time ,God is good.” When I am on the highest mountain and when I am in the lowest valley, God is always, always good!

Just to give you a glimpse into some of the issues that are occurring here so that you can know how to pray I will sprint you through a recent week in JHB, SA . Please pray for Tshepi Makume, my best friend and the youth director at LBC; she was in the hospital this weekend and will be going in for tests in two weeks. Her apartment also caught on fire as the result of lightning. God protected her; however it was her bedroom that experienced the damage, and she breathed in a lot of smoke before she woke up. Also, three of her friends were killed in a car accident at the end of last week; they visited LBC the Sunday before the accident, please pray for their families as they grieve the loss of these three in their early 20s. As you can see, she has been under heavy attack from the devil; please pray for her physical healing as well as emotional encouragement during trying times and spiritual strength to withstand temptation, as well as for wisdom as she counsels youth at LBC and in the community.

Please also be in prayer for the BIMS Guest House where I work and the safety of the missionaries who stay here. The IMB is undergoing major reorganization and assignments of missionaries who visit BIMS may be changing; please also remember the leadership of the IMB as they make decisions about the reorganization. Over the past few days, four of the missionary units staying here have been targeted because of their foreign license plates by men posing to be police officers; one family had their laptop and a large amount of cash stolen. Please pray for this family specifically whose young son was in the car at the time. This type of incident occurs very often all around this city; please remember to pray for crime to end in JHB.

The words of this Casting Crown’s song sum up what I am feeling about some specific youth that I am working with at LBC. “Lord, I lift my friend to You. I’ve done all that I know to do. I lift my friend to you. Complicated circumstances have clouded his view. Lord, I lift my friend up to You. I fear that I won’t have the words that he needs to hear. I pray for your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that’s sincere. Lord, I lift my friend up to you, my best friend in the world. I know he means much more to you. I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do. Lord, I lift my friend up to you. There’s a way that seems so right to Him, but you know where that leads. He’s becoming a puppet of the world; to blind to see the strings. Lord, I lift my friend up to you.” This has been the prayer of my heart; God I can’t but You can!! There are a several youth who are entangled in sin and cannot/will not let go. Marijuana has been a part of one of my very close friend’s life for several years, and the addiction has taken over his life; he dropped out of school after failing the last two years, left rehab and has no direction for his life. Please pray that he would long for God with more vigor than he seeks in this drug, and that he will have a desire to quit using the drug. He is a Christian, was raised in the church, and God has blessed him with so many talents, but right now he is a slave to this drug. Please also pray for a group of our guys who are going down a dangerous path, I will refer to them as GPG (God’s Potential Gang). Many of the youth here do not have families or at least stable ones; so they look to the streets and the activities that surround it for identity and acceptance. Some of the guys in GPG are young believers and others are not followers of Christ, but they faithfully come to youth and church, and Tshepi and I spend a lot of time with them. They define their territory by fighting; they have their identity in their group, and they find their escape in smoking and drinking. Please pray that they will open their hearts to what God is saying to them; they have such radical potential to make a difference for God in our area. Please pray that their behavior changes while they are young and before they encounter any more trouble.

I want to thank God for the amazing things that He is doing here; at times it may seem quite hectic; the devil wants to kill, steal, and destroy, but God is the victor, and we overcome with Him! About 40 youth attended LBC youth camp in December; six accepted Christ as their Savior, and many other made decisions. The youth who made decisions are shining brightly, and God is using them to confront their friends on the streets, speak and lead at youth on Fridays, and witness to their families. Many of the ones who just graduated from Matric (highschool) are seeking God for direction about their future jobs, education, and relationships. Please pray that they continue to shine brightly for their Heavenly Father, that He blesses them, and that we can be an encouragement to them as they daily encounter the lure and temptations of the world. God has surrounded me with wonderful friends and 2 amazing South African families that have adopted me while I am here. This was such a blessing to me during the holidays especially when I was away from my family in the States. Please pray for wisdom and enthusiasm, as I am beginning the girl’s Bible study on Tuesdays at LBC. God is so amazing; when I think I am inadequate He reminds me of His sufficiency, when I don’t have the answers to tough issues, He gives me the wisdom, and when I am fearful; He quiets my heart. Thank you God and thank you everyone for your prayers and support. I love you all.

Serving with you in South Africa,
Sarah Maddox