My chains are gone; I've been set free!

I feel God is telling me to open up about some of the personal struggles that I have been going through for the past several months. While being in South Africa I have come face to face with insecurities, temptation, and battles like I never did in the States, but I have also experienced God's grace, love, faithfulness, and healing like never before in my life. He has healed me from bondage that I has been strangling me since I was very young. This has not been an overnight revelation, but four months ago was the turning point. Was I going to allow God to search me (every part of me), deal with issues, and cleanse my heart and life, or was I going to continue running and denying that there was an issue I had to face, ignoring that it was affecting my relationship with my Heavenly Father? Fearfully trusting (if that is possible), I surrendered to God's spiritual operating table.

Since I was in 8th grade I have struggled with my self image; at times it was more extreme than others and it manifested itself in various forms throughout the years. This issue stemmed from many things that I faced when I was younger. However, God made the severity of the issue very clear to me a few months ago and showed me how much this was hurting my relationship with Him. At times this issue manifested itself in the way I was eating (not eating some months or emotionally over eating), at other times it was the way I dressed hiding myself because I did not believe I was good enough or that people would judge me, other times I would pass up opportunities because a voice inside of me was telling me I was not worthy or pretty enough. It not only affected me psychologically and emotionally, but it also affected my relationships with other people. I would keep my distance emotionally, not allowing anyone close for fear they wouldn't love me and that they would hurt me. These are just a few of the areas of my life that this issue had a hold over.

In April, I began seeing an IMB Missionary here in Johannesburg, South Africa who is a counselor. These past few months have been very difficult at times, but God has been SO faithful to me. He has healed me and restored me. He has shown me that I have value and worth to Him and that He loves my unconditionally no matter what. He will never reject me or hurt me; He LOVES me! I have value because of God's love for me. This has been an issue in my life for many years, and I know the process of healing will still take time, surrendering every day, each meal, every moment, every thought, but God is powerful! He is my healer; when we surrender it all to HIM, our hurts, struggles, and fears, He takes it and does a mighty work. When I couldn't; He was able! When I felt rejected; He responded! When I hated myself; He loved me! When I stopped; He began!

Isaiah 49:16 "I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."
Zephaniah 3:17b "I will take great delight in you. I will quiet you with my love. I will rejoice over you with singing."